In high school my favorite band was Rage Against The Machine. There is a line in a song called "Settle For Nothing" that says "If ignorance is bliss, then wipe the smile off my face". I thought I understood this line when I was younger. What I didn't know, was that I was destined to learn the hard way that the system has some SERIOUS flaws that need to be changed. There has been some propaganda that has infiltrated multiple generations and been ingrained so deeply that it's near impossible to reverse. I'm meeting with someone today to hopefully get started on a path that will lead to a career of trying to re-educate the public on this issue. I'll get back to that later in this post. First, I think I need to explain what lead to my new perspective. I'm going to more or less summarize a really long story.
Most of you reading this know our story either from our blogs, or from American Ninja Warrior. If not, here is the short version: My wife suffers from Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. She has a form that doctors still haven't classified because it's a freak form. For her, it has affected just about every joint in her body, her digestive system, her nervous system (which controls blood pressure, how medicines are released, etc....) and caused serious chronic pain. It is a terrible, terrible thing to witness and even worse for her to have to experience. Due to the dysautonomia (the nervous system problems) and the digestive system problems, she literally can't process any of the pain meds correctly without causing other, even worse, side effects...which leads to more meds to counter the side effects...and the list of meds just gets longer and longer. Living like that destroys peoples health and unfortunately, it is the way the system is designed and it is the reality many people live in.
We trusted the medical system. We turned to it, as most people do, when she started experiencing health issues. She tried EVERYTHING they had to offer. We know they were well intentioned. They save lives every day and we appreciate them. However, they can't legally recommend something that is against the law. They have to stay in the parameters of the laws and the system that they work in. Here is the problem; After everything legal was offered, my wife had found ZERO relief from the pain unless she wanted to be drugged out and addicted to opioids, lose her mental capacity, and be as useful as if she were comatose. That was the solution the medical community could legally offer. Here is the other problem, she tried all the options other than opioids because she didn't want to be drugged out and they caused more problems than they helped! For example, the last pill the pain clinic could offer was tramadol. Here was the result of using tramadol; unconscious and vomiting in the back of the van while having a drug induced seizure...all in front of our 2 little angel babies. That lead to ANOTHER emergency room visit that lasted all day and they loaded her on opioids (in an IV) to stop the situation from being life threatening. Then she couldn't even pronounce a single word because she was too high. Come to find out that her autonomic nervous system doesn't let the drug be released slowly like it's supposed to work. Instead, it all gets released at once, and causes seizures. Not much of a solution right? Multiple doctors had suggested that we move to neighboring Colorado because cannabis is a safe, possible solution to combat some of the pain and many other symptoms.
So what does any competent person do in this situation? The options for her were to either be loaded on opioids and high all the time, which would make it impossible to be the mother that she wants to be, or to die, or to leave everything we have built our lives around (my career, our families, our friends, our support system) and move to a place where cannabis is legal but we don't know anybody, or to defy an unjust law that doesn't allow someone to self medicate on a God-given plant that actually works and doesn't have negative side effects. Considering all these factors, after much prayer and consideration, we decided that the least risk was to stay in Utah and to break the law.
If you want to read into a lot more details, you need to read my wifes blog post about it. The continuation of that story will be in a new blog post today (12/14/15). I HIGHLY suggest you read her posts. She has a gift for telling her story.
Anyways, this is what lead to her use of cannabis in the first place. a LOT of experience as a medical guinnea pig and nothing working.
Fast forward to October 1st, 2015. We had created a large amount of credit card debt due to all the extra expenses and we were drowning in it, financially. We had put our house up for sale to try and use the equity to pay off our debts and get into a smaller house. On October 1st, we got a call from our realtor that there was someone that wanted to look at the house but the only time they could do it was a half hour later. We went into crazy cleaning mode and Enedina was having a bad day so she had to get herself ready enough to get out of the house in a hurry. Being as responsible as we could be in the situation, we decided to pack up all the cannabis and paraphernalia so that the buyers didn't see it. By the time we got in the van, my wife was clearly in a LOT of pain and her neck was popping in ways that shouldn't ever happen to a living human being. I went up the road to take my daughters with me into a chryotherapy session with me so that Enedina could use some of the life saving medicine in the parking lot by herself. After I got done, I took the girls back out to the van and saw that Enedina was doing MUCH better. The windows were all rolled down to air out the smell but it obviously still smelled like marijuana. Not enough time had passed yet so we decided to go across the street to get a few groceries at Wal-Mart before heading home. Enedina wasn't feeling good enough to go inside so I decided to not park in the handicapped parking. (I don't feel that it's morally right to abuse that privilege since I'm not handicapped) So I went to the regular parking space and while I was getting out, this guy walks past the van. No big deal. Elena didn't want to leave Enedina alone though because she always tries to distract her when she's in pain. She's such a freaking sweetheart! So I got Eva out and we went in to the store. The guy that had walked past our van was looking at me in such a way that it made me feel a little uncomfortable but I wasn't really sure why. Then I forgot what I was in the store to get. After trying to remember for a few minutes (longer than I am usually in the store) I called Enedina. Instead of telling me what to get, she told me that she was talking to the police and to get out there asap. I have always believed very strongly that honesty is the best policy so I was determined to not try and hide the truth. Enedina was of the same mindset.
So I go out there and start talking to one of the cops. I could see that Enedina was crying hysterically but I didn't want to make the cops mad so I just kept talking to the one while his partner interrogated my wife. I explained the whole situation and he seemed super sympathetic about the situation but said that they were obligated to do something because of the law that they have to enforce. Totally understandable. We knew all along that we were risking the legal consequences of marijuana possession as long as we were in Utah so I accepted that and was totally willing to accept responsibility for it. Then they threw the GIANT curveball at us that changed our lives forever..
They had told us that the witness said that he SAW my wife smoking in the van with our daughter in the backseat (it was a total lie and I'll explain in a minute). Because of that, they were also citing her for child endangerment...which meant CPS was going to be involved. This was something we hadn't anticipated. Of ALL things....child endangerment? Are you freaking kidding me?! THE ONLY REASON SHE EVEN USES IT IS TO SURVIVE SO SHE CAN BE THEIR MOM!!!! Otherwise, she wouldn't even have the will to live! The irony of the charge was mind-blowing!..especially since it was based on a lie.
Like I said before, the cop had told us that the witness had "seen" her smoking with the child in the van. That is also what the cop wrote in his police report. Here is the problem with that. First of all, SHE WASN'T USING IT WITH THE CHILD IN THE VEHICLE! Secondly, the actual witness statement says that he only SMELLED the marijuana. He saw nothing, which makes sense since there was nothing to see. She had used it in the vehicle alone in the parking lot across the street....so it smelled. The witness had told the truth as he experienced it. I don't agree with calling the cops because of marijuana, especially in a van that is obviously for a handicapped person, but that isn't the point. The witness had told a true statement. The cop had ASSUMED that she had used it in the presence of our child and then lied and said that the witness had seen it, which was the probable cause. This assumption and LIE was the whole reason that CPS got involved. One "little" false detail on a police report changed our lives forever.
That night, I started having a VERY strong feeling (I believe it was from God) that we needed to get the girls and our necessities and get out of the state asap. So we packed up and left in a hurry. We went straight to Colorado because the cops had confiscated all of her medicine and she was having a MUCH harder time without it. By the grace of God, we had a friend that found out about the situation and brought over an eighth of cannabis just to get us all to Colorado alive. It was just a precaution, and it literally saved Enedinas life about an hour outside of Colorado. We were driving and things started slipping in her neck. Then muscles started spasming. I pulled over and got the girls out. Enedina used the emergency cannabis and within seconds, she could breathe normally again and her neck wasn't creating more pain and stress. Another miracle. I'll probably write multiple posts in the future about the sever misconceptions about marijuana but for now let it suffice to say that cannabis is probably the safest drug (legal or not) on the planet. I can overdose really easily from just about ANYTHING in anybody's medicine cabinet. It is literally impossible to overdose from smoking marijuana. The worst that could happen is you'd fall asleep and wake up maybe feeling like your brain is going slow for a few hours. That's it...worst case scenario. I know because I used to be a "pothead" and I experienced that a couple times.
So we get to Colorado and immediately start searching for a house. We're living in hotels and getting further and further in debt. It's not cheap to stay on the road for that long with a family of four. It also gets old really fast. We found a house pretty quick but we still had to sell our house in Utah. After 2 months, it was finally sold but the toll it took on Enedina to be on the road that long is something we'll never get back. We were able to pay off the debt with the equity of our house which was another miracle, but it took a lot of heartache to do it.
We had wanted our children to stay in South Weber. I wanted to grow old in South Weber. Enedina always says that she finally found a place she can call home and felt comfortable dying in South Weber. I grew up in South Weber. It is my home. All of my family is here. Enedinas family is here. We have a ton of friends here. We don't know anyone in Fruita Colorado. The places where we do know people were all too expensive to live in or it was too far from home. We wanted to stay close so we could visit family and have them visit us. Fruita seemed like the perfect place.
Now fast forward to December 10th. The day of court. The day we have been dreading for months of running from the state of Utah. We had no idea what was going to happen. We had hired a very good defense attorney and he was trying to work a miracle for us but up to this point, had been unsuccessful so far. Then the next miracle happened...He convinced the prosecutor to drop the child endangerment charge to a possession charge in a plea deal! Normally, we wouldn't be so excited to plead guilty of marijuana possession but in this case, it was so exciting! Plus, we could accept it because it was actually true...
We still had to present the deal to the judge and pray for his sympathy so it wasn't over. Then the time came. Enedina was up there with our attorney and they presented the plea deal. The judge asked Enedina if there was anything she wanted to say. She said yes but she couldn't hardily talk. She obviously didn't have any cannabis with her at court and it had been a while. Luckily, our attorney had seen me relocate her collar bone and pushed in the right place and the judge saw and heard it pop into place. Then she could talk. She said the most beautiful statement that I really want to get a copy of for our own purposes. It even made the judge emotional. In fact, afterwards, even the assistant of the prosecutor went up to her and gave her a hug. It was seriously a beautiful moment. She testified in court about the law being unjust and about the efficacy of cannabis. She said it from a place of love. It was beautiful! If I can get a copy of the recording, we'll share it.
This whole situation lead to us being in a perfect scenario to be the "face" of medical marijuana in Utah. I got in contact with the founder of The Drug Policy Project of Utah and she seems really enthusiastic about our story. There is a new advocacy group forming that we may end up playing a big part of could very well lead to a career as a lobbyist and potentially even a politician. We're at the beginning of the path so who knows how far it'll go, but the possibility is there. It is something I NEVER anticipated!
We have had trial after trial but in all of this, God has been there to strengthen and support us. We have felt his love and guidance in all of this and we will continue to follow the Spirit, wherever that may take us. I know that God is in everything and I thank Him every day for preserving our family.
If you want to read into a lot more details, you need to read my wifes blog post about it. The continuation of that story will be in a new blog post today (12/14/15). I HIGHLY suggest you read her posts. She has a gift for telling her story.
Anyways, this is what lead to her use of cannabis in the first place. a LOT of experience as a medical guinnea pig and nothing working.
Fast forward to October 1st, 2015. We had created a large amount of credit card debt due to all the extra expenses and we were drowning in it, financially. We had put our house up for sale to try and use the equity to pay off our debts and get into a smaller house. On October 1st, we got a call from our realtor that there was someone that wanted to look at the house but the only time they could do it was a half hour later. We went into crazy cleaning mode and Enedina was having a bad day so she had to get herself ready enough to get out of the house in a hurry. Being as responsible as we could be in the situation, we decided to pack up all the cannabis and paraphernalia so that the buyers didn't see it. By the time we got in the van, my wife was clearly in a LOT of pain and her neck was popping in ways that shouldn't ever happen to a living human being. I went up the road to take my daughters with me into a chryotherapy session with me so that Enedina could use some of the life saving medicine in the parking lot by herself. After I got done, I took the girls back out to the van and saw that Enedina was doing MUCH better. The windows were all rolled down to air out the smell but it obviously still smelled like marijuana. Not enough time had passed yet so we decided to go across the street to get a few groceries at Wal-Mart before heading home. Enedina wasn't feeling good enough to go inside so I decided to not park in the handicapped parking. (I don't feel that it's morally right to abuse that privilege since I'm not handicapped) So I went to the regular parking space and while I was getting out, this guy walks past the van. No big deal. Elena didn't want to leave Enedina alone though because she always tries to distract her when she's in pain. She's such a freaking sweetheart! So I got Eva out and we went in to the store. The guy that had walked past our van was looking at me in such a way that it made me feel a little uncomfortable but I wasn't really sure why. Then I forgot what I was in the store to get. After trying to remember for a few minutes (longer than I am usually in the store) I called Enedina. Instead of telling me what to get, she told me that she was talking to the police and to get out there asap. I have always believed very strongly that honesty is the best policy so I was determined to not try and hide the truth. Enedina was of the same mindset.
So I go out there and start talking to one of the cops. I could see that Enedina was crying hysterically but I didn't want to make the cops mad so I just kept talking to the one while his partner interrogated my wife. I explained the whole situation and he seemed super sympathetic about the situation but said that they were obligated to do something because of the law that they have to enforce. Totally understandable. We knew all along that we were risking the legal consequences of marijuana possession as long as we were in Utah so I accepted that and was totally willing to accept responsibility for it. Then they threw the GIANT curveball at us that changed our lives forever..
They had told us that the witness said that he SAW my wife smoking in the van with our daughter in the backseat (it was a total lie and I'll explain in a minute). Because of that, they were also citing her for child endangerment...which meant CPS was going to be involved. This was something we hadn't anticipated. Of ALL things....child endangerment? Are you freaking kidding me?! THE ONLY REASON SHE EVEN USES IT IS TO SURVIVE SO SHE CAN BE THEIR MOM!!!! Otherwise, she wouldn't even have the will to live! The irony of the charge was mind-blowing!..especially since it was based on a lie.
Like I said before, the cop had told us that the witness had "seen" her smoking with the child in the van. That is also what the cop wrote in his police report. Here is the problem with that. First of all, SHE WASN'T USING IT WITH THE CHILD IN THE VEHICLE! Secondly, the actual witness statement says that he only SMELLED the marijuana. He saw nothing, which makes sense since there was nothing to see. She had used it in the vehicle alone in the parking lot across the street....so it smelled. The witness had told the truth as he experienced it. I don't agree with calling the cops because of marijuana, especially in a van that is obviously for a handicapped person, but that isn't the point. The witness had told a true statement. The cop had ASSUMED that she had used it in the presence of our child and then lied and said that the witness had seen it, which was the probable cause. This assumption and LIE was the whole reason that CPS got involved. One "little" false detail on a police report changed our lives forever.
That night, I started having a VERY strong feeling (I believe it was from God) that we needed to get the girls and our necessities and get out of the state asap. So we packed up and left in a hurry. We went straight to Colorado because the cops had confiscated all of her medicine and she was having a MUCH harder time without it. By the grace of God, we had a friend that found out about the situation and brought over an eighth of cannabis just to get us all to Colorado alive. It was just a precaution, and it literally saved Enedinas life about an hour outside of Colorado. We were driving and things started slipping in her neck. Then muscles started spasming. I pulled over and got the girls out. Enedina used the emergency cannabis and within seconds, she could breathe normally again and her neck wasn't creating more pain and stress. Another miracle. I'll probably write multiple posts in the future about the sever misconceptions about marijuana but for now let it suffice to say that cannabis is probably the safest drug (legal or not) on the planet. I can overdose really easily from just about ANYTHING in anybody's medicine cabinet. It is literally impossible to overdose from smoking marijuana. The worst that could happen is you'd fall asleep and wake up maybe feeling like your brain is going slow for a few hours. That's it...worst case scenario. I know because I used to be a "pothead" and I experienced that a couple times.
So we get to Colorado and immediately start searching for a house. We're living in hotels and getting further and further in debt. It's not cheap to stay on the road for that long with a family of four. It also gets old really fast. We found a house pretty quick but we still had to sell our house in Utah. After 2 months, it was finally sold but the toll it took on Enedina to be on the road that long is something we'll never get back. We were able to pay off the debt with the equity of our house which was another miracle, but it took a lot of heartache to do it.
We had wanted our children to stay in South Weber. I wanted to grow old in South Weber. Enedina always says that she finally found a place she can call home and felt comfortable dying in South Weber. I grew up in South Weber. It is my home. All of my family is here. Enedinas family is here. We have a ton of friends here. We don't know anyone in Fruita Colorado. The places where we do know people were all too expensive to live in or it was too far from home. We wanted to stay close so we could visit family and have them visit us. Fruita seemed like the perfect place.
Now fast forward to December 10th. The day of court. The day we have been dreading for months of running from the state of Utah. We had no idea what was going to happen. We had hired a very good defense attorney and he was trying to work a miracle for us but up to this point, had been unsuccessful so far. Then the next miracle happened...He convinced the prosecutor to drop the child endangerment charge to a possession charge in a plea deal! Normally, we wouldn't be so excited to plead guilty of marijuana possession but in this case, it was so exciting! Plus, we could accept it because it was actually true...
We still had to present the deal to the judge and pray for his sympathy so it wasn't over. Then the time came. Enedina was up there with our attorney and they presented the plea deal. The judge asked Enedina if there was anything she wanted to say. She said yes but she couldn't hardily talk. She obviously didn't have any cannabis with her at court and it had been a while. Luckily, our attorney had seen me relocate her collar bone and pushed in the right place and the judge saw and heard it pop into place. Then she could talk. She said the most beautiful statement that I really want to get a copy of for our own purposes. It even made the judge emotional. In fact, afterwards, even the assistant of the prosecutor went up to her and gave her a hug. It was seriously a beautiful moment. She testified in court about the law being unjust and about the efficacy of cannabis. She said it from a place of love. It was beautiful! If I can get a copy of the recording, we'll share it.
This whole situation lead to us being in a perfect scenario to be the "face" of medical marijuana in Utah. I got in contact with the founder of The Drug Policy Project of Utah and she seems really enthusiastic about our story. There is a new advocacy group forming that we may end up playing a big part of could very well lead to a career as a lobbyist and potentially even a politician. We're at the beginning of the path so who knows how far it'll go, but the possibility is there. It is something I NEVER anticipated!
We have had trial after trial but in all of this, God has been there to strengthen and support us. We have felt his love and guidance in all of this and we will continue to follow the Spirit, wherever that may take us. I know that God is in everything and I thank Him every day for preserving our family.
Beautifully written. As a person with EDS as well, I've read both your wife and your accounts. I live in MO where it is not legal either. The only answers that I've been given is Percocet which only make me feel icky and wear off quickly. I have even had my right foot amputated to try to reduce the pain. Fight on and know that you do have supporters who pray for you all daily!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I'm sorry you have to deal with this too!
DeleteThank you so much! I'm sorry you have to deal with this too!
DeleteGod bless you, your amazing and courageous wife and beautiful daughters. I pray the path your on has less hurdles.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, this is a tragic story and I can't imagine how much this has changed all of your lives. But you have a gift of words and your continued story needs to be told. I have shared your story Hoping that the Right person reads it and will help make a change. Send you story the Bernie Sanders he has put a bill in for the legalization, God bless you and your family
ReplyDeleteI totally understand why Enedina would use marijuana because of her condition, but please do not tell people it's the safest drug on the planet, legal or not. It's not. After doing q decent amount of research, I learned that it affects brain function and lungs and it can be addictive. Teenagers these days think they'll be fine smoking a ton of it, and they're not.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, been watching you on ANQ. Inspiring!
ReplyDelete*ANW.
ReplyDeleteI was worried about how my posts came across. Like I said, I totally understand why your wife uses marijuana. But in general, it is not a safe drug, legal or illegal. I work with youth in the field of drug abuse prevention for this reason. I worry that people who follow your story will believe it's harmless and use it recreationally. Here is more info: http://www.lung.org/stop-smoking/smoking-facts/marijuana-and-lung-health.html?